On turning 40 this weekendPart 1 - funny!

A couple weeks ago, I gave my eldest son the morning off school (I’m a self-proclaimed very cool mom that way) so we could spend some time together, grab a hot chocolate, buy him some much needed new shoes. You know because teenage boys appear to have massive growth spurts every 3 minutes and you find yourself buying shoes quicker than Nike can say “just do it”!

Anyhoooos… we are walking along the street and he puts his arm around me and says;

“Mom, it’s so cool – everyone is going to think you are my sister!”

I swear to you, in my head- the angels of the universe were singing a song. Trumpets were blazing. Birds were doing a musical rendition of hallelujah. The sun just shone its brightest rays, I don’t think I ever remember feeling such sheer joy and delight…

Until the twat decided to carry on talking…

“You know… because I’m like taller than you now. But don’t worry mom – when people get up close and they see all those lines on your face, they will know you aren’t my sister”

At that moment I realized, I will make my future daughter in law my absolute bestie. Poor girl.

Mental note to mother self “must teach simple male child – how to compliment a woman”

Good Lord.

But here I was turning 40, and while spiritually I think I am going through some kind of awakening or deepening, physically… I was having a moment.

I want to brag and say – I reached in deep and focused on all my blessings – thanked G-d and the universe for my rich life, “smile lines” – and the fact that real beauty shines inside out.

But I did NO SUCH THING!

I lectured said child on the importance of ALWAYS making a woman feel beautiful even if a white lie is needed now and again. That lines are from now on ONLY to be called ‘cute smile lines’ , and often less is more – particularly with regard to the thoughts in his head. Maybe best THEY STAY THERE!!! (future wife you can damn well thank me later!)

I then googled ways to “Bio hack” my body… am still totally stuck at the idea of having to expose it to freezing and then boiling temperatures… consoled my lack of motivation with some chocolate.

I then proceeded to my nearest cosmetic department – perused the shelves for the MOST EXPENSIVE anti -wrinkle cream I could get my hands on, and declared “Hook me up sista”!

Turning 40…. Somebody pass me the wine!