An evil king (queen) in the kitchen!

So I think if ever you hear someone call themselves a “parenting expert” you should run for the hills.

The only thing that I know for sure is that no-one really knows what works.

I can tell you what doesn’t work… ME. On a Friday afternoon!

I’m Jewish, so Friday night is like thanksgiving in my house. Every week. There are always people coming – family, friends, and food. Lots of food. Don’t get me wrong, I like it this way. I love hosting people and I love cooking.

Jews believe that on Friday nights (The Shabbat) after the candles are lit at sunset, angels come and join the home. Whilst this may be true, prior to that blissful moment, there is that time called - Friday afternoon. And I’m pretty convinced that Satan’s favorite spot is MY HOUSE!!!

My husband has had the same joke for about the last 10 years. Every time he opens the front door, he pretends to hold me back and says

“Don’t panic Leez, but I think we’ve been robbed! Oh no… Just us again”

You would think with 7 people in our family and given the statistics of OCD, one of us would have a tendency toward tidiness. Not true.

On Fridays, when Satan is hanging out with us, the Kramer kids like to up this anti… and the ‘were we just robbed joke?’, turns into a family game. It’s called “find the floor!”

Its not fun. In case you were wondering.

This blog is getting lovely feedback, some sweet souls are even calling to ask my thoughts on parenting issues, share their successes, or booking sessions. But G-d is making sure, I keep things real.

So this Friday in the universes earnest attempt to keep me humble. My kids were wild and totally not interested in any form of cooperation…and I went BANSHEEEEEEEEE!

It wasn’t pretty. There is “mom has gone cray cray” and then there is me on a Friday afternoon. It’s another league of special. I promise

Trying to get 5 kids to pick up their laundry, tidy their toys, get their soccer/ basketball shoes (which are now the sizes of boats I might add) out of the living room, come help in the kitchen whilst simultaneously getting OUT OF MY WAY! Is not pretty. I was not pretty.

My 8 year old, who at the moment still says she loves me and calls me her BFF – burst out crying and said “you are REALLY scary”

My 12 year old slammed some doors.

My eldest decided he had had enough of my carryings on, and DID NOT CARE to tidy this house, given how crazy his mom was behaving and decided to lead a family war cry.

As I eventually finished cooking and cleaning and STOMPED out the kitchen to go and shower, I heard my kids singing a song about me.

“She is like the evil king of Egypt and we are her slaves” They did an entire re write of the Passover songs… with me as the evil Pharaoh. My 3 year old even joined in. There were drums and dancing… it was a real show. My husband was wise enough to be quiet. Very quiet.

If I wasn’t still chilling with Satan, I might have laughed or at least been mildly surprised by my children’s new found musical talent and song writing skills. My husband is a great musician – I could have really relished in knowing that that gene had finally made its mark.

Instead… I practiced deep breathing in the shower. I also made a mental note that if I'm doing this “life unplugged thing” it would only be fair to share. whilst I know we are all doing the best we can… word of advice for whatever it is worth…Banshee in the kitchen is most unhelpful.

As I lit candles, wished Satan well and welcomed my angels. I did let my kids know that I'll be changing the playing field for Fridays from now on… we need a revamp.

The nicest thing about kids and families is that they can be very forgiving.

There is so much space to get things wrong, really wrong… but then figure out how to make it better.

In reference to my BIG question of the week

“what do kids really want parents to understand’

I think they want us to know many things… but I'm convinced that “ Sorry, I love you – and how can we do this better?” goes a really long way.

Have a great week